007 PERSPECTIVE: Losing or Learning?

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You can choose to win or lose…or lose and learn. It’s really quite simple. 

There is no losing when we agree to fail forward. 

Life lessons are delivered each and every day. 


Are you open to receiving them? 


Have you ever been fired

Handed a break-up on a post-it? 

Divorce papers, perhaps? 


What did all of those losses have in common


What can you control in the after-action?


Who are you taking with you into every future relationship, hope and dream for your life?


Are you really losing so long as you learn?

The 20-something me that endlessly tried to please, the 30-something divorced me that moved through her days surrounded by an emotional stanchion….the 40-something me that just stopped trying to be someone else and allowed things to settle….they’ve all had their definite list of losses and mis-steps. They all had major learnings.

In my 50’s…I’m married and genuinely happy (don’t take this as an assault on being unmarried/single). I truly wanted a healthy, happy marriage more than anything; a marriage that I’m proud of, that I find refuge in, that forces me to grow and allows me to challenge myself (and my husband).

I love my choice to marry the man that I did.

He’s my best friend. I love the adventure of building our life together. Neither of us is perfect, but we’re pretty darn perfect…for each other. He’s with me on this trajectory of life-long learning and challenging myself in every season.  That’s a really cool place to be. I’m grateful for the nine years we've had together. 

Every lesson of the previous decades has made me a better woman. I finally took stock of all that I owned in each of those losing scenarios…and did something with the learning from it.

This would be a great place to visualize kintsugi (the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold). 

It’s beautiful and meaningful…and an entirely new work of art - just like you.

This Week’s Challenge:

Take EVERY loss in the last 2-5-10 years…write them down. 

Then, write the LESSON you learned. Don’t insult or blame anyone else in this process. 

Give yourself time to move through this exercise. It can be daunting.


THIS is the one time you need to make everything about YOU - because it most definitely is.


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